The  words “I love you” can have different impacts on people, and many people resist saying it for many reasons.

In her Time magazine article, “Why It’s So Hard To Say ‘I Love You’,” Belinda Luscombe talked to several experts to learn why “I love you” can be hard to say.

One of the reasons it can be so hard to say these three words to a partner is because nowadays you don’t know if the relationship you are in is serious. Another possibility is that this generation has been given a different idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like, due to their parents living in the generation with the highest rate of divorce, which started in the mid-80’s.

A person whose parents are divorced might not want to go through the same trauma again and can also be given the wrong idea of what a relationship should be like. Victor Harris, a professor of Family, Youth and Community Science said, ”People find it more difficult to recognize the signs of a healthy relationship.”

The “choice overload” theory suggests that people have too many choices. People don’t want to choose wrong, so they delay their decisions.

Stan Tatkin, author of We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth True Connection and Enduring Love, said, “When you declare something about yourself to the other person it makes it real. It has somatic effect. It’s who you are.”

Tatkin suggests telling someone you love them just because it’s true, and without expecting a certain response from the other person. He says, ”Every time [you make a declaration like that] you strengthen your sense of self…. That’s what people don’t understand.”

Santa Fe High students had some interesting responses about telling people “I love you” and whether it is important to say it in a relationship.

Fernanda Lozoya said, ”Until you like yourself, and you like who you are, you can’t fall in love with somebody else.” She added that “I love you” wasn’t a big deal to her, but she believes people not because of the words they said but because of their actions.

Daphne Garcia said, “I think we could fall in love. We just don’t know how to love someone. That’s why relationships don’t really work at this age.” She said she believes that someone can fall in love at [high school] age, but not too early, like at twelve years old.

Alex Rigales thinks the definition of love is what another person sacrifices for you. He said, ”I believe a person when they say ‘I love you’ not because they said it but because of their actions before that.”