If It’s Not On Social Media, Did It Really Happen?

Nineteen-year-old Danni Messina posted a tweet saying she would donate to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital 25 cents for every favorite and 50 cents for every retweet she received. But her tweet went viral, which led to her good-natured gesture going awry. Nine days after she posted her tweet, she received 476,000 favorites and 205,000 retweets, meaning if she kept her word, she would owe the hospital $221,500.

Tanya Chen reports in a Buzzfeed article that Messina dealt with a lot of backlash for being unable to fulfill her word. She said she was “in shock” and wanted to commit to her positive intentions by creating a GoFundMe account to raise $50,000. Her detractors asked why she needed to make a show of donating at all. Why not just donate and not post about it?

This brings to light the question, If it’s not posted on social media, did it really happen?

Social media has been called a “highlight reel” of real life because it only depicts the best parts of someone’s life that they choose to showcase, not the bad sides.

Rachel Leonard expands on this matter in an interview with Shankar Vedantam, NPR’s social science correspondent. Leonard is described as a free spirit who lived all over the U.S. and traveled the world. When she decided to settle down, she turned to Facebook to showcase her life — but she didn’t show all of it.

Leonard described that everything she posted seemed to be perfect, but it wasn’t. Vedantam says, “The unhappier Rachel felt, the more she posted.” Referring to her own social media use, Leonard said, “You’re kind of curating your life, just these very specific moments, the best of the best that you’re putting up there with no context.”

So where is the line between using social media for self-expression and using it so much that it causes negative life satisfaction?

A study by researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that the more time young adults spend on social media, the more likely they are to be depressed.

Similarly, Holly Shakya and Nicholas Christakis at Johns Hopkins University published a study in 2017 that shows how Facebook is negatively associated with one’s well-being. Shakya told Time, “We found that the more you use Facebook over time, the more likely you are to experience negative physical health, negative mental health and negative life satisfaction.”

A large part of this negativity stems from social media FOMO, or “fear of missing out.”

Linda and Charlie Bloom, writing for Psychology Today, explain how FOMO “frequently provokes feelings of anxiety and restlessness, often generated by competitive thoughts that others are experiencing more pleasure, success, or fulfillment in their lives than they are.”

This is what leads to people to go to the hip new coffee shop for a photo opportunity to show their Instagram followers rather than for the actual experience.

However, social media does have its upsides. The Royal Society for Public Health and the Young Health Movement published #StatusofMind, a report showing the effects of social media on young people’s health, asking questions about self-identity, self-expression, community building and emotional support. The report ranked the major social media sites from best to worst in this order: YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram

The report also said, “Seeing friends constantly on holiday or enjoying nights out can make young people feel like they are missing out while others enjoy life.” The report adds that these posts can also set unrealistic expectations and create feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

Teens today spend an average of nine hours per day on social media, and 8- to 12-year-olds spend an average of six hours per day, according to a study by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization that “provides education and advocacy to families to promote safe technology and media for children.”

To what extent are young people’s happiness and life satisfaction being compromised by time spent watching others live their lives?